My Old Man DID Know Something


My father, Judge Nathaniel R. Jones spent his life fighting for justice and change. He first answered the call as a young boy when he saw racial injustice and wanted to do something about it. His mother, knowing her fifth grade education would allow her to take him only so far (she went back and got her high school diploma in her 60s and valedictorian of her class …), made sure to expose him to people who could take him on the next stages of his quest.


Thanks to his mother’s foresightedness, young Nathaniel met and became the protégé of a local Black attorney who taught, guided, and inspired him.


J. Maynard Dickerson instilled in him a deep sense of hope – but not a blind faith. A hope that could be fulfilled with hard work and dedication and a constant focus on the goal. In turn, my father passed that hope on to me and the countless other people he mentored and influenced.


Daddy never stopped reminding me that progress can be made, if we believe and work for it. And he never let me give up or give in to despair. And he both taught and showed me the power of politics to effect change and always encouraged me to be a part of it.


Emulating his mother’s efforts to expose him to politics and the social justice movement at an early age, he did the same for me, folding me into his own activities long before I can even remember. My very first outing in life, the day after my parents brought me home from the hospital, set me on the path:


“On yesterday, we went to an NAACP meeting at church, where Nate presided,” my mother wrote in a letter to her parents. “Steffie was real good.”


That was the first of a long line of experiences Daddy included me in … carrying me in my little baby basket to the Los Angeles Coliseum to hear JFK give his acceptance speech at the 1960 Democratic Convention … Rousing my sister and me out of bed just after midnight so that we could greet Vice President Hubert Humphrey, who landed in the wee hours for an event the next morning during his 1968 presidential campaign … Taking me with him to the annual Gridiron Dinner and allowing me to sit on a bench outside the hotel ballroom so I could watch the movers and shakers come and go …


By 1972, I was ready to get directly involved. So, three nights a week after school, my parents dropped me off at the local McGovern campaign headquarters to volunteer. I felt very grown up and cool and thought that if I worked hard enough, McGovern would win.

So, I was devastated when he lost. After staying up crying half the night, I wandered into the bathroom where Daddy was shaving, sat on the edge of the tub, and told him I would not go to school that day. “Everybody will laugh at me.”


“Who cares what they think? They don’t know anything,” he said. “They’re just repeating what they heard their parents say. Losing doesn’t mean you were wrong. You did the right thing and worked for what you believed in. So you go to school and hold your head up. And if anybody laughs at you, laugh right back and tell them they picked the wrong man.“


(He also told me that Nixon wouldn’t finish his term because he would probably be impeached as a result of the “sabotage” that was just coming to light, but that’s another story …)


Thirty two years later, the morning after George W. Bush defeated John Kerry and my then-boss, John Edwards, I once again found myself sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching Daddy shave as I moaned about how awful the election results were.


He listened for awhile and then without missing a whisker, said “You think THIS is bad? Imagine how we felt in 1956 when Adlai Stevenson lost again – for the second time. And we didn’t have a Civil Rights Act or a Voting Rights Act or Members of Congress or governors or mayors. We didn’t just elect a Black man to the Senate. We didn’t have any of the resources or powers or tools that you have now. But we didn’t give up. We kept fighting. We focused on 1958 and got a Civil Rights Bill passed. And then in 1960, we elected Jack Kennedy president.”


“Progress isn’t like a freight train just barreling forward. It’s a pendulum that sometimes swings backwards,” he continued. “The important thing is not to let go, but to always keep pushing forward so that the next time, you move even further ahead.”


“So feel sorry for yourself all you want today. But tomorrow, get to back to work.”


Four years later, almost to the day, as I sat next to him watching Barack Obama declared the winner of the 2008 presidential election, I turned to him to see tears streaming down his face. I asked him if he was emotional because he thought he would never see this day.


“No,” he said softly. “I always knew I would.”


I reminded him of what he told me four years before about not giving up the fight.


He chuckled and said, ” Maybe one day you’ll figure out your old man knows a little something, kid.”


The eight years of Obama were hopeful ones for him and all of us. But he also saw the efforts to roll back those gains and he consistently warned us all to be vigilant. Not to sit on our laurels or to believe the fight was over.


And sure enough, as he dreaded, despite his efforts, 2016 saw the election of Donald Trump.


That election broke my father’s heart. It wasn’t just the fact that the country had elected someone so unfit, but that so many of his friends and colleagues supported a man and a movement that were hellbent on destroying everything he believed in, had worked for, fought for his whole life.


In the weeks after the election, he wrote to an old friend:


“It seems that all I believed in and hoped for is about to wind up in rubble. The inherent goodness that I believed to be buried inside of most people, is nonexistent. The rationales given by the so-called angry masses for electing a character such as Trump do not pass the test of reasonableness. I am angry, depressed and just plain disheartened as I realize that mortality tables say that I will not be around to contribute to any rebuilding or restoration that takes place, if it ever does.”


“If it ever does …” These words are one of the few instances I know of that Daddy admitted that his faith was so badly shaken – the pendulum had swung back so far – that he feared we might not recover from a dire situation.


But over the next three years, he continued to work and continued to fight and, as his body weakened and his strength waned, he frequently expressed frustration that he wasn’t physically strong enough to engage as much as he wanted, but he kept trying.

Even during his last illness, he repeatedly insisted he needed to “get out of here and get back to work.”


He never stopped believing there was something to fight for. And he never stopped believing that fight was worth it and could be won.


Just a little over a month before he died, I sat beside him in the hospital, my feet propped up on his bed as we ate ice cream and watched the House of Representatives impeachment vote.

When Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the vote and slammed down her gavel, Daddy pumped his fist, gave a thumbs up, firmly nodded his head and said, “GOOD!”


He knew the Senate would not vote to convict – “The Republican Senators don’t have the guts,” he said – but he believed the impeachment was a step in the right direction. And he felt hope again that this country he loved would right its footing and begin once again, to bend the arc back toward justice.


As he predicted, Daddy didn’t live to see that happen. And throughout 2020, I worried that it never would. Covid, George Floyd’s murder, the summer protests, an increasingly erratic and dangerous president instilled grave doubts. But throughout that year, I continued to work with hope and belief, because that’s what my father taught me to do.


On election night 2020, the first ever without my father, when early returns made me fear that the country had lost its collective mind and would keep an unfit despot in power, I felt frightened and alone. But then I heard Daddy’s calming, steady voice in my heart, clear as a song: “Stephanie, Stephanie! Calm down. They haven’t even counted the votes yet. Be PATIENT!”


And, as usual, he was right. Because when the counting was done, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won a clear victory. A step back from the brink and toward the right path.


In the three years since that election, we’ve had setbacks, but we’ve also made progress. The Supreme Court’s extremist conservative majority has ground its heel into civil rights, workers’ rights, affirmative action, and women’s reproductive rights. But we have also seen grassroots movements push back with great success and have elected good people to the House, Senate, governorships, state legislatures, and city government. We have celebrated the appointment and confirmation of a record number of highly qualified federal judges committed to civil rights and justice, including the first Black female Supreme Court justice.


We are now heading into another consequential presidential election, as important as any in my – or my Daddy’s or the nation’s – lifetime. The outcome will determine whether we will continue on the road my father helped to pave or lurch backward on a path this country may not survive.


As I look forward toward the fight ahead – four years to the day since my precious father’s great and good heart gave out – I am encouraged and strengthened by the example he set for me since I was a baby. I urge everyone else who cares about justice, peace and the country and world we all live in to also remember the lessons The Good Judge taught us:


Change is possible, and progress, while slow, is not only possible, but inevitable … IF we work for it, fight for it and never, ever give up. And if you feel it’s too much to bear, take a moment or a day to feel sorry for ourselves. But tomorrow, get back to work.


Daddy was right far more often than he was wrong. But he was uncharacteristically incorrect about one thing: his prediction that “I will not be around to contribute to any rebuilding or restoration that takes place” was way off. He may not be here in person, but whenever any of us who loved him and learned from him grasps the arc of the moral universe and bends it even a little closer toward justice, his hand is on ours and he is contributing to the rebuilding and restoration he dreamed of.


Thank you, Daddy. We’ve got this because you showed us how.


Funny thing, it turns out my old man did know a little something, after all.

Stop Whining and Get to Work!

Whenever I push back on political negativity of the “Biden’s too old and can’t win!” and “I’m so scared Trump is going to win!”, I’m asked “But what can we do?”

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Follow the White House, President Biden and Vice President Harris, among others, on social media to stay on top of what they are doing, the issues and policies they explain, and the accomplishments they regularly tout;
  2. Share information with your friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances about the positive things the Biden-Harris administration is doing;
  3. Contact your local Democratic Party headquarters, NAACP, Urban League, League of Women Voters or other progressive political organization or non-profit civil rights rights organization to volunteer to help get out the vote;
  4. Stop talking up Nikki Haley and don’t even consider voting for her in the primary;
  5. If anyone tells you they are thinking of voting for Nikki Haley in the primary or, God forbid, the general, because she’s supposedly “more moderate” than Trump and they can “live with her,” explain to them that she is NOT more moderate the Trump and, in fact is probably MORE dangerous because her policies are indistinguishable from his, but she dresses them up in pretty colors and a soft voice, which will fool a lot of people who finally got around to seeing through Trump;
  6. Remember that the only difference between a Nikki Haley presidency and a Trump presidency will be fewer mean tweets. Everything else – Court appointments, racist policies (slavery? racism? What’s that?) anti-woman agenda (she’s promised to sign a nationwide ban on abortion), the implementation of Project 2025, draconian economic policies that favor the wealthy and stomp all over the middle class, working class, and poor, etc. – will be indistinguishable from Trump;
  7. Stop the handwringing and doomsaying. There is a time for venting and catharsis and a time for squaring our shoulders and getting to work. We are past the time for fretting. It’s time to get to work;
  8. Stop publicly criticizing Biden and Harris, online and elsewhere. We know they’re not perfect and don’t need to be told that over and over, especially when that gets in the way of the work that must be done. Keep in mind that there are plenty of people reading what you write and hearing what you say who are absorbing, internalizing and repeating the negative and often false information being disseminated about Biden and Harris. There are also, no doubt, some infiltrators who are gathering such comments to weaponize against Biden and his campaign. Please don’t contribute to that;
  9. When someone you know criticizes Biden or Harris, tells you Biden’s too old or Harris doesn’t smile enough (or smiles too much) or somesuch, wishes someone else will run, or threatens not to vote or vote third party, instead of rushing to social media to tell the rest of us what they said and why that’s a problem (we already know), take the time to share with them facts about the Biden/Harris record, explain the stakes we are facing, and help them understand that this election is a binary choice and how important their vote is.

Those are just a few of the ways you can help.

But complaining and worrying are toxic, spread poison into the political waters, and doesn’t do any good for anyone. Venting this way in these spaces simply spreads doubt and undermines the work that needs to be done.

We know you’re scared. We’re all scared (or should be). But the only way to fight this fear in politics is to get out here and do the work. Giving in to it (and, after a point, venting without work IS giving in to it) will only make it more likely those fears will become a reality.

Please be a part of the solution.

We got this!

The “Primary Crossover” isn’t the flex you think it is: Just VOTE BLUE!

There’s been an alarming uptick in calls in social media urging women to cross over into Republican primaries to vote for Nikki Haley based on a belief that it’s some kind of clever multi-dimensional chess move that could knock Trump out of the nomination.

But it is is a BAD idea – VERY bad – for many reasons. Here are a few of them:

1.         It would take a huge, carefully implemented concerted effort and a massive shift in votes from Biden to Haley – tens of thousands and likely hundreds of thousands – to make any noticeable difference in the outcome. A few hundred or even a few thousand votes from random voters aren’t going to change the winner of the Republican primary.

And this would have to be done, not just in New Hampshire and South Carolina, but in state after state after state afterward. We don’t have that kind of bandwidth.

2.         While such a crossover effort wouldn’t hurt Trump, it would, however, reduce participation in the Democratic primaries – possibly enough to make it appear that President Biden is losing support and that Democratic voters are not enthusiastic about his reelection.

Biden needs strong showings in all of the primaries, not just to win – which is a foregone conclusion – but to demonstrate strength and robust support from the base and from Independents, something that is absolutely critical for shaping a positive message going into the convention and the general election.

But if it appears that he is bleeding support or is getting fewer or not significantly more votes than he did in 2020, that will hurt him badly and feed the media narrative that Biden is not a popular candidate, when that is simply not true.

3.         Biden wouldn’t be the only person hurt by this gambit. Democrats voting in the Republican primary could also undermine down-ticket Democrats who need votes but won’t be on the Republican ballot and thus, would lose a substantial number of votes.

It is essential that we not only reelect Biden and Harris, but also a elect a Democratic House and Senate and Democratic state legislatures for many reasons.

One of the most pressing reasons is the fact that we need that the January 6, 2025 Electoral College vote certification to be conducted in a House chamber under the control of Speaker Hakeem Jeffries and the Democrats, not Speaker Johnson and the MAGAs.

The crossover game will water down the votes for good Democratic primary candidates, making that goal harder to achieve.

4.         Democrats voting in the Republican primary will produce skewed numbers that will throw off Democratic fundraising, strategizing, and planning for the fall Get Out the Vote effort.

The national and state Democratic parties use primary voting numbers to help surgically target their GOTV and that requires solid, accurate numbers and information about who and where the likely voters are, how they’ve voted, and who needs to be persuaded and flushed out on Election Day

The crossover game would provide inaccurate information to the parties and also likely suppress fundraising needed to pay for these party GOTV efforts. That will be a serious problem for the general election.

5.         And, finally and perhaps, most important – the national and state Democratic parties are actively discouraging this plan … because they know better than any of us what is needed, what will work, and what won’t.

The notion that some voters here and there know better how to do political strategy than the party, political experts and campaign operatives who have been analyzing this and working on this day and night, just makes no sense. None of us knows a fraction of what they do and it is really foolish and rather presumptuous for any of us to think we understand the numbers, the polling, and the other ins and outs well enough to craft our own strategy based on what we’ve heard and read pundits say on TV and in social media about the state of the race.

If the party and campaigns are not asking us to do this and aren’t telling us how to pull it off – and, in fact, are telling us NOT to do it – we should take the hint and not take it upon ourselves to come up with our own disjointed stealth guerrilla warfare plan.

In this monumental election, everyone has a lane. Our lane should be to vote for Biden and Harris and Democrats up and down the ticket, and to do everything in our power to get as many other people as possible to vote for them, as well. Please leave the political gamesmanship to the people responsible for that who know what they’re doing.

Please VOTE BLUE in the primary and then VOTE BLUE in the general election and do our part to save our democracy!

Message to white allies: Look beyond Dr. King’s “dream” … and into your own hearts


I write this message with love to my white allies in the fight for civil rights and racial and social justice:

On this Martin Luther King Day, I encourage you to refrain from the temptation of repeating out-of-context quotes that soothe, but don’t provoke any desire for action or true change.

Instead, please read and thoughtfully and humbly consider sources that give us a sense of the real Dr. King, not the milquetoast minister gently longing for a time when everyone can just get along.

Contrary to the Disneyfied caricature he has unfortunately been shaped into, Martin Luther King was a radical activist who demanded change and provoked fear in and harsh condemnation from many white Americans in his time.

Foremost among those who tried to muffle him were white moderates who, like many of their modern-day progeny, were all-too-certain that not only were they indispensable allies, but that allyship meant they could dictate the message, means and tones Dr. King and other African Americans should use to force that change.

So, while you will be inundated today with clips from the I Have a Dream speech and Dr. King’s quotes about love and peace, I urge you to also read his more incisive and uncomfortable words about the fight for justice and what it means to be an ally in that fight.

Among the most powerful of these teachings is Dr. King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail, which he directed to white clergy who had urged him not to launch a protest in the city because it would be too provacative and “now is not the time.”

“I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: ‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods’ … Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

“Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of racial injustice to the solid rock of human dignity.”

If you do nothing else today to honor Dr. King, please read and then engage in some honest self-reflection of this powerful polemic that could just have well been written this morning.

https://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html

Thank you, Mr. Antonacci … Since-Rely

It may not be common for a 60-something-year-old woman to break down in tears upon hearing of the passing of one of her elementary school teachers.

But everyone did not have Joe Antonacci, Sr. for sixth grade.

Mr. Antonacci was a wonderful teacher. Because of him, I can do timetables in my head and still name the capitals of scores of countries – and, if asked to do so, could surely point to them on a map with a rubber-tipped wooden stick in less than 30 seconds.

Thanks to Mr. Antonacci, I know when to write “principal” instead of “principle,” and “stationary” instead of “stationery.”

And I think of Mr. Antonacci whenever I write a business letter because he taught me how to always spell “sincerely” right. (Just think “since-rely,” which I repeat in my head every single time I write the word).

But more important, I can remember what it felt like being the only Black student in my sixth-grade class (and one of fewer than a handful in the entire school), having moved to a new town at perhaps the worst time a child could be dropped into an unfamiliar environment, struggling to fit in with a cohort of white kids who had been together since kindergarten, and to have a teacher show extraordinary kindness and patience toward me and such unflagging confidence in my intellect and abilities that I didn’t shrink, but thrived.

Mr. Antonacci made a difference in my life, and I am and will always be grateful to him.

I’m glad that we reconnected later in life and I had several opportunities to tell him how much I appreciate all that he had done for me. And it was always a pleasure to hear him talk about the immense pride he felt, not only in me, but in all of the students whose lives he had touched.

Mr. Antonacci’s death makes me sad, but memories of him warm my heart and remind me of the good we can do.

Thank you, Mr. Antonacci for the great and gentle good you did. I will never forget you.

Since-rely,
Your forever grateful student