Happy Founders Day to the brothers of Kappa Alpha Psi, from the daughter and granddaughter of proud Kappa men.
My grandfather Lorenz Graham was a founding member of the Kappa Alpha Psi UCLA chapter where he pledged in 1924. Pop Pop loved to point out that every Kappa pledge at UCLA must know his name as a charter member before they can cross over.
The Good Judge pledged Kappa in 1949 at Youngstown State University and remained a true and loyal Kappa Man for the next 70 years. Being a Kappa was one of the great joys of Daddy’s life and receiving the Laurel Wreath, the Kappa’s highest honor, meant everything to him.
Their membership in the Kappas intertwined with and enriched my grandfather’s and father’s lives in countless ways and, to a considerable degree, helped to shape and define the remarkable men they became.
The paths of these two Kappa men crossed and then forever merged when, on a trip to Los Angeles to attend the 1957 Kappa Conclave, Daddy’s blind date was Jean Graham, Lorenz’s daughter.
When Jean told her father about her new beau, Pop-Pop was unimpressed. “A lawyer? Meh. Colored lawyers don’t make any money.”
But when she told him Daddy was also a Kappa, Pop-Pop changed his mind.
“The only reason I let Jeanie marry your father was that he was a Kappa man, so I knew he was worthy of her” he teased. Daddy corroborated the story, often reminding me that I owed my very existence to the Kappas.
Throughout the next decades, Daddy took enormous pleasure in being a Kappa, insisting that Kappa Alpha Psi was the only true fraternity – that the other Greek organizations were really just “clubs for young men who wish they could be Kappas but couldn’t make the grade.”
And whenever anyone made the grievous error of assuming he was any other Greek, he’d scoff and correct them: “No, I’m a FRATERNITY MAN.”
Occasionally, when he was feeling extra Kappa-ish, he was known to belt out Kappa songs at the dinner table.
“Oh, you must be a Kappa Alpha Psi, if you want to go to heaven when you die!” he’d warble as we all rolled our eyes.
When Daddy died two years ago this month, the local Kappa chapter asked to conduct a Chapter Invisible Ceremony at his visitation and, of course, I agreed.
I expected a short and sweet tribute from a few of the brothers from the local chapter, so I was flabbergasted as I watched them enter the church, stream down the aisle and gather around Daddy’s casket. They just kept coming. More and more and more. Young and old. I thought the procession would never stop. When they finally were in place, the entire front of the church was a sea of Kappa red jackets.
As the brothers sang and said the prayers that are part of the Kappa sunset ceremony, I was moved beyond words and expectation. I felt such peace and comfort in this heart-wrenchingly perfect moment because I knew how much my Daddy loved being a Kappa and this loving farewell from his Kappa brothers was exactly the sendoff he would have wanted.
Daddy often said he’d be a Kappa Man until the day he died. But that wasn’t quite true. He’ll be a Kappa Man for eternity.
So I wish a Happy Founders Day to the brothers of Kappa Alpha Psi, in memory of my father and grandfather. and thank you for being such an important part of my family’s life.